Many of you are aware that I'm an avid sports fan. Baseball in particular, was one of my 1st loves. As far back as I can remember into my childhood, I can recall being clad in various New York Yankees attire. They were really the only sports team I could say that I was "strongly encouraged" to support by my Dad. And although the Yanks have had a great deal of recent success, when I was growing up they were often at the bottom. Thankfully, Jeter and the boys turned it around for New York in the 90's.
Recently, two stories have come to the forefront of the baseball world. I'll leave it up to you to decide for yourself which is more disturbing. However, both sagas have caused me a bit of concern, for very different reasons. They are of course, the alleged engagement of future Yankee Hall of Famer Derek Jeter, as well as the admission of Mark "Big Mac" McGuire's use of Performance Enhancing Drugs (PED's).
Lets start with Jeter. He and his fiance, Minka Kelly, are apparently planning a November 5th wedding later this year. And believe me, she is one seriously hot babe, but what could be going through his mind. Has he learned NOTHING from the Tiger Woods "situation"? Being the short stop for the World Champion New York Yankees comes with a great deal of privileges. He's rich beyond his wildest dreams, has a chance to win every year, and most importantly can get laid by the most beautiful women all over planet Earth with little to no effort. Something keeps telling me that he must have knocked her up.
What's the one thing that separates him from Tiger you ask? Besides a few million $$, Tiger threw his bachelorhood away and tied the knot. Don't get me wrong, Tiger's wife is a babe too, but that's no reason to settle down. A girlfriend is a hell of a lot less likely to crack you upside the head with a golf club or a baseball bat than a wife. Why? It's way cheaper to dump a girlfriend. Enough about Derek though. I suppose it's not the very worst decision he could make, and there's still time for his friends and family to talk him out of this.
McGuire's announcement came as a huge shock to me. What's next, Barry Bonds is gonna be outed for PED's? Say it ain't so. Seriously though I don't feel sorry for these guys when they get caught taking drugs. And shame on baseball for acting like they had no clue these things were going on. These players went from looking like normal human beings to something out of pro wrestling practically over night. Sorry Hulk Hogan, but its true. Major League Baseball was making boatloads of money and were willing to look the other way when Big Mac was crushing balls out of the park. They couldn't have cared less and neither did the fans. After all, chicks dig the long ball.
When it's all said and done, I'm the injured party here with regards to McGuire's confession. I currently own 3 of his 1987 Topps rookie baseball cards. Two of which I bought off of my brother when he was 15 so he could pitch in on a case of Milwaukee's Best beer and go drinking at "The Road". What are those cards worth to me now.
Mark McGuire will end out better off in the long run. He's gonna get a lucrative book deal portraying him as the victim in all of this. Oprah or Dr. Phil will have him on their couch spilling his guts again. How heroic of him to come out about drug abuse in an effort to save the children. Excuse me while I go puke my guts out Mark.
And with the book deal will most undoubtedly come some Mini-Series on the Lifetime Television Network. I can see it now:
"Big Mac Land: The Mark McGuire Saga" starring Chuck Norris as Mr. Steroid Man himself.
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Right on with both situations. Jeter - well, what can you say. Perhaps the most eligible bachelor becomes ineligible. But with his fiancee's first name of "Minka", many of us native Oswegonians gotta love her. About McGuire... the way his disclosure was carefully orchestrated, with press releases, e mails, phone calls planned through the day, culminating with the interview with Costas on MLB network...stinks. What a lame confession, it's all about damage control. Kiss the Hall goodbye and get out the asterisks. Good column. Shaddycack.
ReplyDeleteI must defend Jeter's choice of getting hitched...... It's the smartest choice EVER!! Marriage makes you a better person. Tiger Woods, Jeter and I have many of the same traits, athletic qualities, and Bank account numbers. Just because Tiger's dumb-ass went out and sunk a few extra holes doesn't mean that DJ will look for extra gappers up the middle. Some of us are way too into our spouse to stray. Now if you'll excuse me, I am off on a date with a chic I met on-line.
ReplyDelete-Wink (who still can't get on his two accounts to this blog)
Wink, I agree with your athletic prowess with comparison to Jeter. I gotta call bullshit on the bank comparison. You are one of the cheapest people I've ever seen at the bar. Never buy other people drinks and you frequently order a drink and then fumble around for $$ until someone else buys it for you (jk). And who's this on-line hottie? Trainer ATC?
ReplyDeleteMister two, three, whatever defending "Bartender of the Year".... You need to EARN that $1.50 tip of 6 hours. You don't just get that from looking the part. You need to earn my love and tip. If I wanted to just lay cash like that on the mahogany, I'd head to the titty bar and make it rain CENTS!!!!.
ReplyDelete-W
Chuck Norris could never play Big Mac. That's why he never played baseball. He'd literally tear the cover off of every ball used while filming. Or he'd scare stiff every pitcher who pitched to him.
ReplyDeleteJeter has been a bachelor for a long, famous run. My only worry about the wedding is that all the planning will have to be done while Jeter is playing in a season, and most likely through a pennant chase. Here's hoping the woman takes over the planning duties, and he gets married after a World Series victory!