Christmas is right around the corner. As usual, I've been delinquent with my shopping and have a great deal of work to do before I'm finished. It's not that I don't enjoy giving and receiving presents. I just hate how commercialized Christmas has become.
The whole concept of Black Friday and all of the sales that day are nothing but a recipe for disaster. Who the hell wants to deal with a bunch of imbeciles, scrambling in a mad dash, kicking and punching their way to a new flat screen t.v. I admit, I have felt a bit guilty in the past for doing the kicking and punching, but that old hag had it coming to her. As unethical as my behavior may have been, I got over it very quickly when I saw how much money I'd saved on my brand spankin' new, 32" flat screen Visio. Who could resist a new "boob tube".
So recently I went to Wally World, a.k.a. Wal-Mart. I needed a couple of things around the house. Saline, shampoo, and deodorant topped the list. I figured I might get a little holiday shopping done too. While I was browsing through the contact lens solutions I found myself standing right near the pharmacy. I guess I never realized how entertaining it can be to loiter around in a drugstore and listen to some of the shit show that goes on. We're talkin' small town USA crap like:
"How long until this itching goes away?".
And:
"Are you here for birth control young lady?"
"Nah. Momma sez you can't get pregnant in the ass."
Upon listening to such comments I realized that I'd found a new hobby. If you're ever bored, or just feeling a little blue, feel free to come join me at a pharmacy and we can pose as if we're waiting to pick up a prescription. Imagine the laughter we'd share when some douche bag came up to the pharmacist bitching about a nagging rash. Then we could commence with the heckling.
"YOU GOT CRABS! YOU GOT CRABS!"
Politically correct? No. Entertaining as Hell? Absolutely!
Come to think of it, I never did get any more Christmas shopping done that day.
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I used to do the same thing, sitting outside the library at the college. I'd catch brief sections of conversation and write about what I thought the people might have been talking about. At the drug store though ... That sounds a bit more fun. Count me in! I'm writing my Vegas blog tonight. It should be up by the morning. Don't forget to put a link to my page in your next blog, so people will go to it.
ReplyDeleteBring your camera! Then you could post your stories and pics here too!
ReplyDeletewww.peopleofwalmart.com