Givin' It The Old College Try

SUNY Oswego is back in session for another academic year. With that comes a boost for local businesses, a noticeable increase in traffic, as well as some excellent scenery around town. Of course I'm talkin' about the "shorties". It's always nice here in the Fall before the weather begins to turn because there's usually an abundance of scantily clad co-eds,with their tight shorts and minuscule tops, walking and jogging around the city.


With the onset of a new school year, I've found myself looking back on my college years. And believe me, I put in some time during my SUNY tour. Not one, but 2 stops at Potsdam College and then I wound up at Oswego State. I learned a great deal while I attended college. Although, I never did locate the library at Potsdam. People who attended school there before and after I did swear there was one. I know there was a library at Oswego though. I spent many hours sleeping there between classes.


Let's get back to the plethora of knowledge I acquired living in the dorms at Potsdam. I'm referring to the tom foolery, shenanigans, and hi-jinx I learned in Bowman South, the best place to reside on campus. Although some of these gags may seem cruel, I'm sure many of you will agree that they are hilarious pranks. There are too many to tell about all of them, so I shall share just a couple. So ladies and gentlemen, grab a pen and paper and jot these down. Welcome to Professor Boozer's "The Art of the Practical Joke 101". Class is officially in session.

Lesson 1. Cricket tag. Wanna get back at your buddies for waking you up at the crack of dawn? I just happen to have a cheap, simple solution to ruin your friend's ability to get a good nights rest. Go to a bait shop, or if you're really ambitious, catch a couple of crickets on your own. When they aren't paying attention, slip into their dorm room and release the crickets in an inconspicuous place. When they turn off the lights to go to bed they will be serenaded 'til the first of the morning light. Childish? Yes. Full of fun and revenge? Absolutely.

Lesson 2. The Tidal Wave. This could result in getting your ass kicked, so don't get caught with this one. Got a friend who used up all of the hot water before you got in the shower? Well here's a great way to get back at them. It's the lost art of the 'Tidal Wave'. When your "enemies" have retired for the evening, grab the biggest garbage can you can find. Fill it as close to the top as you can and lean it up against their door. When they wake in the morning to start their day they will be in store for a great suprise. Upon opening the door they will be doused with gallons of water rushing into their dorm room. In order to attain some damage control you might consider moving any electronics that might be in the path of the wave. But be careful not to move anything too obvious and tip off your victim. Risky? Yes. Necessary? Again, absolutely.

Lessons 1 and 2 are in the books. So your assignment is to practice one of these pranks. I'd suggest starting with Cricket Tag and working your way up. It's just a chance to gauge the amount of anger and revenge your victims will unleash on you should you be found responsible. Now get to work kids. Class is dismissed.