Well, it's finally here. Saturday, June 12th. Weather permitting, I will be plummeting back down to planet Earth from 10,000 feet. That's right, I'm going sky diving today!
I know you're asking, why would any sane human being jump out of a perfectly good airplane to get back down to the ground. Nobody ever said I was sane though. Actually, a little over 10 years ago, while I was under the influence of alcohol, some "friends" of mine convinced me to go sky diving. At that point in my life I'd never even flown before so why in the hell would I want to go jump out of a plane. Nonetheless I agreed. Then I woke up somewhat sober and told them they were out of their F-ing minds. If I was having a hard time with the flight, the last thing I wanted to do was jump out to get back home, so to speak.
So fast forward to three and a half weeks ago. I was working when I overheard a friend talking about having a group reservation to go sky diving, but one of the jumpers had backed out. To make a long story short I took the extra spot. Before I could blink, the day has arrived. Although I truly believe that I'm in more danger driving to and from the airport in Ovid, NY, I thought it might be a good idea to leave some evidence of what I'd like done with my most prized possessions should I not make it back. So here goes. This is my only form of a living will.
By request, I leave a fabulous collection of Hawaiian shirts to Bill 'Blind Melon' Dowdle. I would split them between Bill and my good friend Rich Murney but how can I put this delicately? Rich is a bit too portly to fit into them and I'd hate to see them torn. Wear them proud Billy Boy, especially the Duke ones.
I don't want Murney feeling left out in the cold, so to him I leave my recently installed Shazaam shag carpeting, Super Hero Blue of course. What can I say, chicks really dig it. Good luck Murn.
To my good friend Tim Wink, I leave a vast collection of Duke sports apparel. And with the recent National Championships by the Men's Basketball and Lacrosse teams, the collection has grown quite a bit. Wear and display everything with pride and be sure to taunt your wife for me every time the Blue Devils crush the Tar Heels.
My 2000 Pontiac Grand Prix goes to my good friend Kevin Fitch. You should see the soccer mom van that poor kid is driving now. Maybe now he'll be able to close the deal and actually hook up with one of the many, so called hot chicks that he has creepy pictures of on his cell phone.
To Kappy I leave my "Big Grey Hairy Pussy". I'm talking about my cat named Boo. I figure she's as good as anyone because her roommate is a vet or something. Plus, Kappy's about one cat shy of becoming the crazy cat lady on her street anyway so it just makes sense.
Lastly, I leave the rights to all of my blog material to my good friend and writing coach Mai. Without your encouragement and support, Boozer's Blog never would have gotten off the ground. Thank you so much for inspiring me to follow a dream of entertaining people.
There are so many more people to thank, as well as will the rest of my possessions, but I leave that up to my family to decide. I believe I will be able to write a sequel to this in the very near future but you just never know. So, if Mother Nature complies today, and allows me to fly through the sky at 120 mph, I will be dedicating this jump to the late Ed B. It's only been a week since you were taken away from us, but you won't be soon forgotten.
The witching hour is nearing. Gotta go friends. I've got a plane to catch.
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Providing the flight goes well, you might want to lay low. There may be some earthlings that might finish you off after reading this. Good luck and Godspeed, (just wait till your Mom finds out,she is going to kill you).
ReplyDeleteHa ha! Critter is right ... she's gonna' kill you! But that aside, hope it's a wonderful experience with a soft landing. Can't wait for your next blog.
ReplyDeleteAunt Em
Ohhhhhhh my! I'm all over the Duke stuff. I should have some, anyhow :)
ReplyDeleteListen, when you are dumb enough to be pushed out of a plane ('cause you ain't gonna go freely), and GOD FORBID something happen..... I really really really want your 10th grade Basketball Trophy. While we're at it, throw in the thing you store with it :) When I pass, I'll leave you Michele.
-Wink
Coaching you made coaching easy. I'm glad you still write here. All of my creativity now channels through my camera. I think you have a great gift and your job and friends give you more than enough great material... through you and your blog, I've had the opportunity to meet some pretty cool people (well, Upstate NY cool, anyway). I hope you keep it going... pending you didn't jump to your demise ;)
ReplyDeleteWell I was going to ask how it went, but I just read that it was canceled. Oh and I'm jealous for when you DO go. Anyway, you should just burn those DUKE shirts. :)
ReplyDeleteTake the plunge, and enjoy the ride. Wave at a bird on the way down. Enjoy the sky for as long as your up there, but don't forget to pull the damn cord! Who else will I talk to during Greene's day shifts? Jabber? God No.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, about 90 seconds after I hit send to post this blog, I received a phone call informing me that we were rained out for the jump on the 12th. Friggin' Mother Nature!! We're trying to come up with a day that works for all of us in July.
ReplyDelete