Rain Delay

I've spent the better part of my existence residing in Upstate New York. To be more specific, I live on Lake Ontario in Oswego, NY. The few years that I was away from the area, I was matriculating at Potsdam State, studying my ass off in the Arctic North of New York State. Needless to say, inclement weather is nothing new to me.

This time of year was always filled with hope when I was a kid. There would be a great deal of anticipation for a delay to the school day. A weather related closing due to lake effect snowfall or maybe an occasional ice storm was always a welcomed treat. However, anyone who has lived in this region of the country would agree that it would take quite the storm to close school.

Nowadays, there's a constant "ticker" scrolling on the bottom of the television reporting closing and delays. And the Internet is always an option to check for postponements. All of you who grew up around Oswego would undoubtedly remember tuning into WSGO, our local AM radio station, to listen to the voice of weather man Bob Sykes telling us we had a day off from academic torture.

It was an opportunity to go back to sleep, or better yet, head outside to frolic in the snow. It was also a reprieve for those of you who might have been a bit relaxed with regard to any assignments due on that day. I of course always had a tight grasp on my academic standing, completing all of my course work in advance of their due dates. In fact, with my own studies completed ahead of time, I could often be found tutoring neighborhood children on my free time. I was nobody special, just a concerned American trying to give back to my community. I would contribute by helping youngsters with their math homework for example, as well as reading to the blind. And that still left me enough time on my way home to shovel out the elderly when the big storms hit.

But enough about the work ethic we had back in my day. It's the youth of America in the present that has me concerned. Here's why.

Several years ago, my cousin Tim and his wife Carie moved to Winchester, Virginia, accompanied by their two children. Tim grew up in Oswego, and to the best of my knowledge, Carie lived in New York State as a child as well. Their kids lived in the North for a few years too. The point I'm attempting to convey is that none of them are foreigners to Winter weather. So if any of them are reading this, when I slam the people of the South for being the biggest pussies when it comes to dealing with the Winter, you four are exempt from my rant. I understand that you guys have lived there long enough to call Virginia home, but you were transplanted there.

As I arose from my own slumber yesterday, I could recognize without doubt that there was some form of precipitation clapping on my bedroom window. As I drew the blinds back to peer outside I could quickly see that it was in fact rain. I welcomed this vision because I was certain that the rain was sure to melt a great deal of the snow on the ground.

Shortly after I awoke, I went downstairs to start my day. It's not uncommon for me to hop on the Internet to check email as well as what was going on with my friends and family via Face Book. Within a very short period of time I came across a post listed by Carie. She stated that her kids had a 2 hour delay from school. Most would assume it was due to snow or possibly ice. Nope. They had a delay due to RAIN!!

Are you shitting me? RAIN! I immediately went to Yahoo weather to see if there was a chance of the rain shifting to ice. To my surprise it was 55 degrees. What the hell was the superintendent worried about? Were the kids going to melt in the rain?

What is going to become of this generation of kids. Remember when we used to walk to school in the middle of the Winter, uphill both ways with no shoes on. It built character and established a work ethic that may never be seen again. And what's gonna happen when the sun comes back out in Virginia? The poor children could be susceptible to a nasty sunburn waiting for the bus. I think all parents should consider home schooling their children from now on in order to protect them from such harsh elements.

Big Mac Land

Many of you are aware that I'm an avid sports fan. Baseball in particular, was one of my 1st loves. As far back as I can remember into my childhood, I can recall being clad in various New York Yankees attire. They were really the only sports team I could say that I was "strongly encouraged" to support by my Dad. And although the Yanks have had a great deal of recent success, when I was growing up they were often at the bottom. Thankfully, Jeter and the boys turned it around for New York in the 90's.

Recently, two stories have come to the forefront of the baseball world. I'll leave it up to you to decide for yourself which is more disturbing. However, both sagas have caused me a bit of concern, for very different reasons. They are of course, the alleged engagement of future Yankee Hall of Famer Derek Jeter, as well as the admission of Mark "Big Mac" McGuire's use of Performance Enhancing Drugs (PED's).

Lets start with Jeter. He and his fiance, Minka Kelly, are apparently planning a November 5th wedding later this year. And believe me, she is one seriously hot babe, but what could be going through his mind. Has he learned NOTHING from the Tiger Woods "situation"? Being the short stop for the World Champion New York Yankees comes with a great deal of privileges. He's rich beyond his wildest dreams, has a chance to win every year, and most importantly can get laid by the most beautiful women all over planet Earth with little to no effort. Something keeps telling me that he must have knocked her up.

What's the one thing that separates him from Tiger you ask? Besides a few million $$, Tiger threw his bachelorhood away and tied the knot. Don't get me wrong, Tiger's wife is a babe too, but that's no reason to settle down. A girlfriend is a hell of a lot less likely to crack you upside the head with a golf club or a baseball bat than a wife. Why? It's way cheaper to dump a girlfriend. Enough about Derek though. I suppose it's not the very worst decision he could make, and there's still time for his friends and family to talk him out of this.

McGuire's announcement came as a huge shock to me. What's next, Barry Bonds is gonna be outed for PED's? Say it ain't so. Seriously though I don't feel sorry for these guys when they get caught taking drugs. And shame on baseball for acting like they had no clue these things were going on. These players went from looking like normal human beings to something out of pro wrestling practically over night. Sorry Hulk Hogan, but its true. Major League Baseball was making boatloads of money and were willing to look the other way when Big Mac was crushing balls out of the park. They couldn't have cared less and neither did the fans. After all, chicks dig the long ball.

When it's all said and done, I'm the injured party here with regards to McGuire's confession. I currently own 3 of his 1987 Topps rookie baseball cards. Two of which I bought off of my brother when he was 15 so he could pitch in on a case of Milwaukee's Best beer and go drinking at "The Road". What are those cards worth to me now.

Mark McGuire will end out better off in the long run. He's gonna get a lucrative book deal portraying him as the victim in all of this. Oprah or Dr. Phil will have him on their couch spilling his guts again. How heroic of him to come out about drug abuse in an effort to save the children. Excuse me while I go puke my guts out Mark.

And with the book deal will most undoubtedly come some Mini-Series on the Lifetime Television Network. I can see it now:

"Big Mac Land: The Mark McGuire Saga" starring Chuck Norris as Mr. Steroid Man himself.